


The Wall

by phantom_of_the_bathroom



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Insults, Mild descriptions of blood, Roman Sanders - Freeform, Roman needs a hug, but very little comfor, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26429245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantom_of_the_bathroom/pseuds/phantom_of_the_bathroom
Summary: Roman had a wall in his room. And on that wall, he could see every insult that every side ever though.Read tags for triggers, and check out my tumblr! @purpleivy12Thanks for reading!
Comments: 17
Kudos: 106





	The Wall

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, sorry not sorry for the angst, but I'm finally writing again!

Roman wasn’t just creativity. He was the unloved romantic one, the insecure confident one, the ego. Maybe that’s why he was cursed with The Wall. The Wall that showed him every insult every side had ever thought. It was in his room, right behind his desk, so he had to look at it whenever he was working. At first, long ago, The Wall didn’t bother him. Occasionally, a word would appear, in the color of whatever side it was directed at, the initials of the side that thought it underneath.  
The words or phrases wouldn’t come often, but it was pretty evenly distributed between the sides. When they did, Roman would ignore them, unless they had been said out loud- then, he’d go and find the side that said them, and encourage them to apologize.

  
Once, he had invited Patton into his room for a sleepover, and he had seen The Wall, and had burst into tears. Then, the wall had been small, only a few insults and harsh thoughts, but since then, Roman had willed it away. The only problem is… he could still see it, though the others could not.

  
It started slowly, so slowly that Roman wasn’t even sure if he was seeing it properly, but soon, he saw more and more red text begin to appear all over the wall. Harsh criticisms, a bit more than the petty insults of long ago. Roman found himself crying himself to sleep more and more often, hung up on something from Logan saying he was useless and impractical, a word from Patton saying he was too loud, and something from Virgil saying he was annoying and stupid.

  
So after years and years of seeing these insults on the wall, it was mostly red. Roman tried not to say or even think insults anymore, knowing how much hurt they could cause. And after all these years, of course Roman jumps onto Deceit’s words in the courtroom, desperate for any sort of compliments after years and years of staring at the Wall, redder and redder until there was barely any blue or purple or navy. He went along with Deceit’s words, and then at the end, he switched and went with Patton.But Roman made the wrong choice at the courtroom. Of course he did. And the wall grew, creeping off of one wall, and spreading to the ones right next to it,the red creeping out and to the sides, ever expanding. As the date of the wedding drew closer, Roman couldn’t even keep up with how fast the words spread onto the wall.

  
Maybe- maybe that was why Roman snapped, in the living room that day. When Deceit Janus, revealed his name, Roman laughed, he did, and he felt bad for it right after. Then, Janus’s next words hit him- like a slap in the face. The next minute was a blur, not the hero, evil twin, mustache, we love you no you don't, and he sinks out without really thinking about it, falling down against the wall and closing his eyes, letting the tears escape.

  
His head turns, and he spots a stark yellow word on the wall, in contrast to all the red. “Janice? What are you, a middle-school librarian?” sits there, with Roman’s initials next to him, and Roman cries harder, because he was the only one who deserved to be on the wall, because Roman was horrible, terrible, worthless,nuseless.  
He scratches at the wall with his nails, breaking them and even when he scratches off the paint, the plaster, the wood underneath still holds the insult. Roman collapses against the wall, knuckles and nails bloody and torn, exhausted, physically and mentally. He looks around and watches as the red spreads like wildfire, coating the walls of the room, spreading over and over and over until everything is barely legible from the amount of writing on the wall.

  
This is how Patton finds him, going to check on him after the episode. He gasps, looking at the text, Roman not having the energy to keep it hidden. Tears spring to Patton’s eyes, taking in the words, and the bloody stains near the yellow one. Some he recognizes from his own thoughts, and he chokes on his tears. Roman saw all of it?  
Roman looks up when he sees Patton enter, and he thinks that now Patton knew he was weak, now Patton wouldn’t like him even more, and a new red word springs up. Patton sees it, a bold red “Unloved”, with… Roman’s initials next to them?

  
“Kiddo…” Patton says, the breath leaving him. He rushes forwards, wrapping Roman in a tight hug, tears brimming in his eyes. Roman doesn’t want to lean into the hug, doesn’t want to accept it, doesn’t think he deserves it, but eventually he gives in, clinging on to Patton like he might be snatched away at any moment. Roman cried until he couldn’t anymore, staying in Patton’s arms for hours, before slumping forwards and passing out from the breakdown.

  
Patton would carry Roman out of the room, laying the exhausted prince on the couch and tearfully explaining to the others what he had seen. Logan would bandage Roman’s hands, a few tears falling from his eyes at how stupid they all had been. Virgil would stay with Roman until he woke up, anxiously telling him that he didn’t mean anything he had said. And Janus would go into Roman’s room and look at The Walls, a pounding headache from all the lies written upon it.

  
Janus read every single insult, every lie, every truth, everything somewhere in between, but- he couldn’t help but notice that most of the red text, the harshest, cruelest words, all seemed to come from Roman himself.


End file.
